


What Happens at Jibcon stays at Jibcon

by steeleye1



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Bottom Dean, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Internalized Homophobia, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, M/M, jibcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 12:03:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11081199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steeleye1/pseuds/steeleye1
Summary: ***********************************************************************Misha is concerned about how emotional Jensen got at the convention, so there's therapy.***********************************************************************I blame Jensen and Misha for this.  I was destiel shipper cockles curious before Jibcon8 now I’m a full blown cockles whore.  It took about 60 hours to write this in four days (I was possessed) and I’ve been massaging the text for the past two, three weeks? Has it been that long, really? So I need to stop and just put this out here.A shout out goes to my girls on "all things destiel and cockles 18+" on facebook for helping me with beta and some ideas.I want to thank my primary betaTheShy Girl, she is a Goddess and you need to read herficand worship her.  She should get a fucking Pulitzer.Any mistakes are 100% mine. This is my first smut fic.





	What Happens at Jibcon stays at Jibcon

**Author's Note:**

> This story really only makes sense if you have watched the Jibcon8 cockles interactions (search "jibcon8 cockles" to find the videos). You need to understand that Jensen almost told Misha's secret and no we **don't know** for sure that it's that Vicki is pregnant but that is what makes the most sense to me because what in the world could possibly be a "fucking disaster" to _Misha_ except a pissed off wife? And Jensen thought of it right as Misha was talking about his kids. 
> 
> Imagine if Vicki had expressly told Misha NOT to tell _anyone_ that she was pregnant? She's 43 and a pregnancy at this age is risky. And to many it's also considered bad luck to talk about before a certain point in it's development. So imagine she told him not to tell anyone and he told Jensen. AND then Jensen was about to share that news with us? That would be a "fucking disaster". Whatever the secret was Misha could have just as easily said to Jensen "Please don't share that" which would have been a much more gentle way of saying the same thing. But he didn't. He basically spazed and psychically spewed on Jensen. That was weird and uncharacteristic of Misha. 
> 
> The other thing to know is that Jensen got _really_ emotional about two women he met there who had gone through the "You Are Not Alone" counselor training which he had sponsored and made those videos, with Misha, for last year. It really messed him up and I think might have been part of the reason he was drunk. And oh boy was he drunk. Jared called him 'Nesnej' on a different panel which is something he calls Jensen when he gets drunk. 
> 
> What most American's don't understand is that in Italy they drink a lot of wine. It's normal for them. Their wine is not pasteurized and has a higher alcohol content so if you're not used to it a small amount can have a large impact. I'm betting that Jensen started off drinking what is a 'normal' amount for him and because he wasn't thinking about it being stronger and he became upset it just hit him harder than normal.  
> **********************************************************************************

   Heading back to the hotel, everyone was exhausted and Jensen was still an emotional wreck. He had managed to keep it together, just barely, but Misha was still troubled. As far as he was concerned their panel had been a trainwreck. Jensen’s flirting had been borderline obscene. He had even almost let the cat out of the bag about Vicki’s pregnancy and that would have have been a fucking disaster. Misha wasn’t sure what was going on with Jensen but he was worried. It was uncharacteristic of his friend to be so blatantly sexual toward him even when he was drunk. 

   Riding the elevator up to their floor, Misha stole a glance past Jared over at Jensen on the other side of the elevator. He could see the red rimmed eyes and completely drained countenance on the man’s face. The elevator stopped on six and Jared stepped off. Shooting Jensen a concerned look, wishing them a good night before leaving them alone. Silently riding up one more floor they waited for the elevator doors to opened. As they were getting off Misha asked Jensen if he was going to be okay. 

   Jensen mumbled something Misha didn’t catch so he leaned in closer touching his arm. 

   “What?” asked Misha.

   Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jensen swayed into Misha’s touch and said a little louder, “Um, yeah. It’s just... could you keep me company for a little while? I don’t think I should be alone right now.” 

    A wave of fatigue washed over Misha. He felt bone tired and wanted nothing more than to crawl into his own bed and pass out, but there was no way he was going to say no and leave Jensen alone. “Of course,” Misha said as he silently trailed the man down the hall to his room. 

    Jensen fumbled a little with his key card, getting it in the lock, opening the door. He actually stood back and held the door for Misha. 

   He hesitated for just a moment thinking the formality was unusual for Jensen, holding the door for him, but he silently shrugged and walked into Jensen's room with a “thanks.” It was dark, but laid out exactly like his own room so he knew where the switch was and flicked it on.

    Jensen walked over to the mini bar and bent down, getting a couple of the miniature bottles out of the fridge. Swaying a little as he straightened up, he reached for the tumblers sitting on the counter.

    Misha knew that Jensen had been drinking. It had been a long overly emotional day but he hadn’t really given it much thought until Jensen had turned into ‘Nesnej’ a term Jared had coined for drunk Jensen. He actually didn’t think Jensen had been trying to get drunk so much as he was clearly emotionally raw and probably feeling the effects of the alcohol more than he normally would. Jensen could ordinarily hold his liquor, but it didn’t help that Daniella kept shoving drinks in their hands. Besides, Jensen’s drinking was none of Misha’s business and Jensen could be pretty cute when he was drunk.

   Jensen walked over and handed one of the glasses to Misha.

   Misha wordlessly accepted the drink and took a small sip, studying Jensen over the rim while he drank. Bourbon. Not his favorite but the burn going down felt kind of nice, reviving him a tiny bit. 

   Jensen was looking down at his glass. Suddenly, he said, “That messed me up a little.” 

   Misha knew what he was talking about. “I thought it would help if you talked about it with the fans.” 

   “It did...,” Jensen replied, “really.” Smiling ruefully, Jensen said “Jibcon is my therapy. That’s not it. Talking about it did help. The fans are so supportive. It really did help. So thanks, really, I’m glad you brought it up.” He paused to sip his drink. “It’s just the validation that something I did... we did, really has made a difference in people's lives. I mean, a real difference, one that really matters.” Jensen continued.

   Misha hummed in agreement, noticing Jensen's face was getting a little redder, causing the freckles to stand out somewhat. His red eyes, which were making the green of the iris stand out in bold relief, were starting to water a bit more, becoming glassy. Misha knew that Jensen had self esteem issues. He’d come a long way since Misha had met him but he still struggled at times. 

   Jensen put his glass down and walked over to the bathroom. 

   He didn’t shut the door so Misha followed him over saying “Jensen, you have always made a difference in people's lives.”

   Jensen snorted.

   Misha stood outside, sipping the bourbon, watching as Jensen grabbed a washcloth and started running water over it, waiting for the water to warm up before turning the faucet off. Jensen had a tendency to wear his heart on his sleeve and today had been no exception.

   Jensen twisted the cloth and wrung the excess water out. Studying his face in the mirror, he lifted the cloth and rubbed It over his eyes. After a few deep steadying breaths Jensen regained his composure somewhat. Feeling a little refreshed, he looked over at Misha through the mirror and offered a weak smile. He saw Misha’s return smile, but it did not reach his eyes as his brow was furrowed with worry. Jensen looked back at his reflection, aware that Misha was concerned about him.

    _Misha. This is his fault ... sort of._ Jensen thought. Here they were at Jibcon, again. And he had behaved outrageously to his friend on stage. He knew it was unfair to blame Misha for his own behavior. So, maybe he could blame the alcohol. He had drank too much, and he was still drinking... But he knew that was bullshit too. 

   In years past, Misha had always been an outrageous flirt when they came to Rome and Jensen would play along. Every year they would up the anti. Not this time. This time, he had been the one flirting. He’d like to pretend it was because the fans loved it, but he knew it was because he had a plan this year.

   It was also true that now that he _knew_ the fans loved it, _really_ loved it, he had felt emboldened.

   Once Misha had convinced him a few years back that the fans went ape shit for their perceived relationship; Misha had called it a “ship”. This time, he had felt the courage to do things he would never even have considered possible. And the fans ate it up just like Misha had convinced him they would. 

   And yeah, he knew what he was doing. This year he had ulterior motives.

   He let out a short laugh, startling Misha.

   Misha asked, “what?” 

   Jensen looked over at Misha and said, “Roaaar,” growling at him like he had at the con after showing Misha his underwear. Misha blushed, turning his eyes down which Jensen found adorable. “You know,” Jensen said, turning back to the mirror, but still looking at Misha through the mirror's reflection, wiggling his eyebrows “I really enjoy showing you my underwear”.

   Misha brought his drink up to his lips, smiled ruefully into the glass, and said, “Yeah, I’m getting that.” He took a little swallow of the bourbon and cleared his throat. “That was really uncomfortable Jensen.” 

   Jensen shrugged. He was not going to let Misha put him off this time. They were alone now. Not in front of a crowd. He turned abruptly away from the mirror and, still a little unsteady, moved past Misha out of the bathroom, brushing past him before Misha had a chance to move completely out of the way. 

   As he was sliding past Misha, he swayed in toward the other man and inhaled. Smelling Misha’s scent. _Strawberries and cinnamon_ , Misha pretty much always smelled like that thought Jensen. He could also feel the heat radiating off of Misha; he was always like a fucking furnace.

   As he brushed past Misha, Misha stiffened at the intimate contact. “What are you doing?” Misha squeaked out, thinking that maybe Jensen was going to prank him.

   “Nothing.” Jensen said with feigned innocence. “I was just wondering if you were still wearing that cologne.” 

   Misha was starting to feel confused. If he didn’t know better, he’d say that Jensen was flirting with him, flirting with him for real. When he thought about that, he felt a little flutter in his stomach. He knew that was impossible though. Jensen’s behavior had been so outrageous and out of character today. He honestly wasn’t sure what was going on with his friend.

   They have been playing at flirting for so many years that Misha figured maybe Jensen must have become desensitized and does not realize it was coming off as ‘real’ flirting. It seemed like real flirting to Misha, mostly because it was just them in the room; there was no one to perform for, no camera. Misha figured it must be spillover from the convention that day, part of their game. Despite what Vicki had said, Misha felt sure Jensen would never seriously flirt with him. 

    _It was always just for fun._

   Misha, rolled his eyes and huffed into his glass saying, “Yeah, I told you, you’re not allowed to look at me that way because of what you did.” 

   Jensen let out a sharp laugh.

   It’s true. He still found Jensen incredibly attractive, but after all they’d been through, he had never thought that Jensen would return that interest. After all, Jensen was straight. Had always been straight. Straight as an arrow. Plus, they were both married. Not that that was an issue for Misha. He and Vicki were polyamorous. But he was pretty sure Danneel would have a problem if she thought something sexual was actually happening between him and Jensen.

   He thought back to a conversation he’d had with Vicki years ago when he started with Supernatural, he had mentioned to her how hot he thought Jensen was and she had suggested that it would be fun to get him in their bed. Misha had laughed at that because of how uptight Jensen had seemed at the time. He remembered telling Vicki that they would probably have more luck getting Jared in bed then Jensen. That was back when he figured he would have a five episode arc before his character was killed off and then he’d be looking for another gig.

   That was a long time ago, and while it’s true that Jensen does seem like a different person now, Misha was pretty sure that Jensen wasn’t really coming on to him. He figured that Jensen had simply grown comfortable modeling Misha’s own behavior, becoming more relaxed with male intimacy. He was certain that Jensen must be teasing him. It was one of the ways Jensen coped with his desire for validation.

   When Jensen was feeling vulnerable and worthless he needed the comfort of another person to calm down and unwind, when they were on the road, Misha had ultimately become that person for Jensen. 

    _I have been that person for a few years now._

   Over the years they had let sexual innuendo creep into their relationship. So Misha shrugged and, ignoring the perceived advance, took another sip of his drink. 

   Jensen had walked back over to the bar, picking up his drink. Taking a sip, he surreptitiously slid his eyes up Misha’s body. He still wasn’t sure when he had started to think of Misha as hot. He’d been thinking it for sometime now, the smell, the heat, and look at those eyes, cerulean blue… and that mouth, pornographic.

   He could feel his dick starting to stir.

    _Wow_ and again that was probably in no way a good thing, but he didn’t care. He was tired of fighting it, tired of fighting the pull that Misha had on him. Like gravity, it seemed to be an external force, pulling him toward Misha whenever he was around the man. 

   Taking another sip of bourbon he stared at the floor feeling heartsick. He knew he needed human contact right now. Needing it from Misha, that was normal, but this time his dick was on board, too. And he was so tired, tired of fighting that force. 

   He thought about Danneel in the states with their children and hesitated for a moment. They had read Vicki’s book together and had some interesting conversations about _possibilities_... She had even implicitly given him permission. He had laughed it off at the time.

   And here they were in Rome. Again. This time, he was prepared. 

    _When in Rome._ Misha words came back, taunting him.

   And this time, Jensen had been the flirt on stage. He felt a little hypocritical, but, god, he had had fun doing that. He got now why Misha did it. 

|   
  
---|---  
  
   Misha had never made it a secret that he swung both ways. He also knew that Misha found him attractive. It had been obvious from the start. A lot of guys found him attractive. He used to get hit on all the time by guys when he was younger. It had been excruciatingly embarrassing for him for a long time. He had even gotten into couple fights because of it. 

   He’d been told more than once that he looked like a girl. Growing up in a stanch no-homo house, as a kid it had bothered him a lot.

    _But not anymore._ The lie of that thought caused shame to push at the outside of his mind. 

   He pushed it away.

   His looks were his bread and butter. He was old enough now to realize that he had been afforded the opportunities he had because of them, at first. But Jensen felt that he had also proven that he really could act, even direct, as well and was proud of that. Now, he also felt sure he had really helped make a difference with the “You Are Not Alone” campaign. A real difference.

   A lump formed in his throat at the thought.

   Without even realizing he had made a decision, Jensen tossed the rest of the bourbon down, swallowing that lump down with the liquor. He put his empty glass on the counter, silently moving toward Misha like a cat stalking a bird in a cage. Misha, who had been warily watching him, leaning against the wall next to the bathroom, saw him coming, straightened up putting his drink down. 

   Misha swallowed nervously and said, “Maybe I should go...”

   But Jensen didn’t respond. He just kept moving toward Misha, his feet moving silently on their own. Slowly walking right up to him as if they were going to do the samba, he stopped one breath away from Misha. Looking down into his ocean depths and then at his thick erotic lips. Misha’s scent drifting up into his nose. Imagining how those lips would look stretched around his cock, those blue eyes looking up at him.

   His dick, which had been getting steadily heavier, uncomfortably straining at it’s confined space, jumped at that image. 

   Jensen licked his own lips and quietly said “Misha, do you know why there is a bear on my underwear?”

   Jensen was standing so close, Misha could feel his hot breath and smell the sour-sweet scent of alcohol. Misha felt paralyzed. What was Jensen doing? _Was this still a prank?_ Misha wondered. He swallowed heavily his mouth suddenly dry, managed to whisper out a stuttered “No?”

   Jensen leaned in closer causing Misha to feel trapped between him and the wall. He moved his hands to rest on either side of Misha’s waist, leaning in.

   Holding his breath Misha’s eyes fluttered closed as Jensen pressed his lips to Misha’s.

   Jensen was kissing him.

    _What the actual fuck was going on?_ Misha felt scared and exhilarated at the same time. He wasn’t scared because he’d never been in this situation. Men, including those who were closer to the straight end of the spectrum, tended to try to seduce him the way they would a woman. So that was not new, but this wasn’t just any straight guy. It was Jensen. _This was not a good idea._ He could feel Jensen’s stubble scratch across his face and his mouth.

   Jensen opened his mouth and started to explore Misha’s lips with his tongue. 

   And Misha was not pulling away. 

   Misha slid his hands up Jensen’s arms and let them rest on his triceps, almost pushing him back. He could feel how solid they were. While Jensen didn’t work out like Jared, he still had a solid body and Misha could feel himself responding to how hot Jensen was. 

   Jensen felt a small thrill when he realized Misha wasn’t stopping him. Jensen’s tongue was becoming bolder, pressing at the seam of Misha’s mouth.

   With Jensen becoming more insistent, Misha surrendered to the intrusion, feeling his mouth open of it’s own volition. 

   He couldn't believe this was happening. _How could Jensen be kissing me?_ Only in his wildest dreams had he imagined this. This scenario had been fodder for more than a few jerk off sessions in his trailer. _Now it was actually happening._

   And he was letting Jensen in, and again, such a bad idea. The back of his mind was shouting at him, telling him to stop this, but his body didn’t care and didn’t want to stop. He could smell Jensen’s musky scent, taste the bourbon on his tongue. Feel the rough bristles from Jensen's stubble scratch across his own. The realness of it was more intoxicating than he had imagined. He could feel his cock quickly growing and straining against its confines, a coil of heat in his pants blooming.

   Jensen thrust his tongue into Misha’s mouth and ran it over the edge of his teeth. He bit down on Misha’s lower lip and sucked it gently into his mouth.

   Misha groaned and felt himself grinding his now too hard cock into Jensen’s leg. Gripping Jensen’s arms, his fatigue was a distant memory as his body hummed with anticipation.

   The kiss ended, their mouths breaking apart. They continued to stand in the embrace. Their breathing a little heavy, Jensen resting his forehead against Misha’s, his eyes screwed tightly shut, breathing Misha in deeply, losing himself in Misha’s scent and heat. 

   Misha took in a stuttering breath, standing in Jensen’s embrace, staring at his mouth, hating himself as he said, “Jensen,... this... this is a bad idea...” 

   He and Jensen had played around with teasing and flirting for so long that Misha had come to the conclusion that Jensen was immune to him, immune to his sexuality, which was really okay. Besides, though Misha, remembering how his open sexuality would sometimes get the better of his friends, _it, as often as not, ended in disaster anyway._

   Jensen wasn’t moving and hadn’t opened his eyes. Misha heard him whisper in a sigh “I know, it’s just...” then he leaned in and captured Misha’s mouth again, more insistent. More eager, lapping in to Misha’s mouth, pushing his tongue in again. Jensen drew Misha in closer, breathing in deeply, snaking his arms around Misha’s waist to fuse their chests together with a bear hug, drawing his hips in, pressing their hips together.

   Misha felt himself surrendering completely, sliding his arms up over Jensen's shoulders his hands moving up to Jensen’s neck and running his fingers through his short hair. Willing to lose himself for that moment in the female role, letting some of his body weight be supported by Jensen’s embrace. He could feel Jensen’s hard cock pressing into his hip as Jensen was rocking it against him.

   Their kiss becoming more frenetic and desperate. Jensen was shoving his tongue in again and Misha responded with his own tongue. There was a minor battle for dominance as their mouths ground together, their breathing becoming heavier, their hands grasping, becoming almost desperate. 

   That kiss lasting forever and would never be long enough.

   In another instant it was over and and they broke apart gasping for breath. Misha saw that Jensen's eyes were glazed, gazing at him with lust, his pupils fully dilated. He was no fool he knew without a doubt right then this was not a prank and Jensen wanted to fuck him. And god knows, he wanted to have sex with Jensen, too, but this was the mother of bad ideas. 

    _If this went bad I will be spectacularly screwed._ Thought Misha as he started to move away, shimmying out from his trapped position between Jensen and the wall. He was aiming for the door, but before he got more than a foot away, Jensen grabbed his hand and, after pulling him over to the bed, pushed him down on the mattress. Misha sat heavily on the bed eyes wide looking up at Jensen with desire and no small amount of apprehension. 

   Jensen could hear Misha’s weak protest and didn’t care. He had made up his mind that this was going to happen. He’d been thinking about it for months and this opportunity had presented itself, it hadn’t been his plan to seduce Misha tonight when he asked for company, but once he had gotten Misha in his room _well, I just couldn’t pass up this chance._

    _Well…_ That’s what he wanted to tell himself anyway, but this had been building up for years.

   Every time they came to Rome, Misha turned it on and this year Jensen had been ready. Even though a part of him realized that this time it had been he who had been the outrageous flirt, and this time he had anticipated and prepared for this eventuality. He was going to have this.

   Then meeting those sweet ladies, learning one of them had completed 50 hours of counseling training in the “You Are Not Alone” campaign, something which he helped create, knowing that something he was a part of helped to create that, something that inspires people to be better had made him emotionally raw.

    _I just really need this._

   This safe, intimate, human contact with someone who cares about him, someone who he cares about in return. With Misha. He needed this with Misha. He would deal with the fallout later. Fuck it, right now he wanted to bury his raw heart ache in Misha’s love and he was going to make this happen. This was the perfect storm.

   Misha was sitting on the bed saying something so Jensen turned his focus on Misha to hear him saying, “Jensen, really, I don’t think…” 

   Jensen leaned down, shushing him. He said softly, “Shh, Misha, stop talking. It will be okay. I promise...” letting the words trail off, Jensen could see the look of doubt flit cross Misha’s face as he leaned forward pressing him into the bed. Jensen captured Misha’s mouth again as he ran his free hand under his shirt. 

   After a few minutes of slow, probing, kissing, Jensen sat up and pulled Misha fully onto the bed. He pushed Misha’s jacket off of his shoulders, tossing it toward the chair in the room where it landed heavily on the floor. 

   Laying him back down, Jensen let his hands start to wander over Misha’s body. Jensen ghosted his hand over Misha’s hard-on which elicited a gasp from Misha. Misha’s eyes still filled with misgivings and desire looking at him, his hands fisted in the bed clothes. Brushing over the bulge in Misha’s jeans, again, giving it the slightest pressure. 

   Misha screwed his eyes shut, groaning, trying to hold himself back, but helplessly rocking his hips up into Jensen’s hand anyway.

    _And... Misha still wasn’t leaving._ He was letting Jensen touch him. Jensen felt encouraged.

   Jensen thought about the fact that he had never been with a man before. _How hard could it be really?_ They had watched Boyz in the Shower at Misha’s rental, but that seemed a little extreme to Jensen. _Keep it simple right?_ He knew what he liked in bed so that’s what he would do for Misha. Beautiful Misha, laying there so open and sexy, succumbing to his advances, to his needs and desires. His dick throbbed at that thought. God, he knew he was in trouble and he didn’t care. Breathing in Misha’s scent, tasting his mouth, feeling the heat radiating off of him. 

   They had teased and flirted with each other for so long, years. They kept upping the game, neither of them backing down. _Really, if anyone thought about it, this was inevitable_ , he reasoned. Losing himself in Misha right now was the catharsis that he needed and he felt revived and invigorated. His heart swelled as he felt a peace wash over him. How could this be wrong if it made him feel this way? 

   In his deep, husky, Dean voice, he said, “Misha, I’m going to take your clothes off now.”

   After a beat, he heard a groan and a tiny, breathy, “okay.” Jensen could barely hear his reply. 

    _And Misha... wasn’t... leaving…_

   Jensen felt a wave of gratitude flooding his heart because his friend was willing to do this for him right now, tonight, despite his misgivings. But guilt crept in and Jensen also knew that Misha had had no chance. He knew that Misha wanted him, certain that he had wanted him for a long time. He shoved it down, swallowing the guilt which threatened to assert itself.

    _He was going to have this dammit._ He was prepared.

   Misha still couldn’t believe this was happening. Jensen was making _love_ to him. _How could this be happening?_ He was being tender and sweet and, well, after the obnoxious way Jensen had flirted with him today, the outrageous things he had done, it was really mind blowing.

   Misha was afraid to touch Jensen, indecision gripping him. _What was the right thing to do?_ He should stop this now, but he wasn’t. On some level he had wanted this for so long, certain that it would never really be possible and now, without warning, it was happening.

    _Jensen is drunk. Is this what he really wants? Should I really give in to this?_

   He was also worried that when Jensen came to his senses that he would be completely freaked out by this. Misha knew when that happened he would really be totally fucked. _Shit._

   The struggle inside his head was starting to make him nauseous. He felt his stomach roll dangerously. Stomach acid and bourbon making it’s way up his throat. He swallowed thickly. If he wanted to stop this, he had to act now before it went any further. _It still wasn’t too late._

   Misha felt Jensen push his t-shirt up and his hand start smoothing over the skin on his chest and stomach again. He enjoyed how gentle and tentative Jensen was. It felt almost normal because of all the touching they had done over the years. 

   Misha knew they had an overly intimate relationship. They had done many things together that most normal straight men would never do, but it had never turned blatantly sexual. Misha was not averse to touching men with the same intimacy that he touched women and while Jensen seemed to have relaxed into the same behavior, he thought it was because of ‘modeling behavior.’ Misha had been sure that it had always just been in good fun, that Jensen was just imitating what he saw Misha doing because of the positive reinforcement and attention he was getting. 

    _Hadn’t it? Hadn’t it just been for fun?_

   As Jensen continued his ministration, the tension started to drain away. Misha’s muscles began to loosen and he let his mind continue to wander, not wanting to make any decision. He thought about how it was true that lately, the last few months, the intimacy had gotten more intense, to the point where even Vicki had commented on it. He honestly hadn't given it a second thought. She had said that Jensen wanted to fuck him and he had laughed and blown her off. Clearly, she had been right. Musing about how she had said if they ended up in bed that she wanted a blow by blow description of what happened. Elicited a small laugh from him. 

   Jensen looked up at him from kissing his chest. “What?”

   Somehow, Jensen had managed to pull his t-shirt off. Misha hiked himself up on his elbows looking down at Jensen. “I just honestly can’t believe this is happening. I’m kind of worried you’re going to freak later. “What about Danneel? You can’t think that she would be okay with this?” 

   Jensen, who had been straddling Misha by that point, sat back on his heels, running his hand through his hair and over his face. Giving a sigh, he said, “Well, funny thing really…”

   Jensen took in a breath, looking suddenly shy. Looking down, he said in a whoosh “We-kinda-read-Vicki’s-book,” visibly reddening as the words spilled out. Jensen darted a worried look at Misha to gauge his reaction. 

   “Wait. What?” Misha wasn’t sure what heard so he ran the words back over in his mind. "Oh. So, okay... you read my wife’s book. Together... That’s cool, I guess... But, still..."

   “And-she-knows-I-want-to-fuck-you-shesokwithit...” Jensen trailed off, so red now that Misha was getting worried about him again. 

   Misha huffed out a small laugh saying, “That’s kind of hard to believe…”

   The energy in the room shifted in an instant as Jensen ground out in a low, angry voice, “Do you think I’m lying to you?” The flash of anger lent credence to the saying that gingers have quick tempers and Misha knew this about Jensen. He did have a quick temper. 

   “Oh, no. No no no no no no. No, I don’t. I’m sorry. I just… I’m just surprised. I don’t think you’re lying. Please, god, no. I’m sorry Jensen. I don’t think you’re lying.”

   Jensen visibly relaxed, the energy shifting back just as quickly. Grinning he said, “It’s okay. I can understand why that might be hard to believe. Don’t worry about that, baby. I’ve actually been thinking about this for awhile.” 

   Jensen continuing, said, “I’ve been looking forward to Jibcon for months. I bought these underwear for you. I read somewhere that ‘Dmitri’ means bear in Russian. When I saw these online, I had to have them.” Jensen waggled his eyebrows, growling at him again, causing Misha to laugh.

   With that, Jensen leaned over Misha reaching for the drawer of the nightstand. He pulled out three condoms strung together and a brand new tube of Astroglide. Holding these items in his hand, he looked down uncertainly at Misha with what Misha thought was one of the most adorably shy expressions he had ever seen on his friend’s face.

    _Oh, shit,_ thought Misha, closing his eyes and rubbing a weary hand over his face. _He has been thinking about this. Crap. This is going to happen. How did I not see this coming?_ His stomach twisted again with anxiousness as at the same time, a pool of desire was collecting itself in his groin again.

   Putting indecision in the rear-view mirror, Misha sighed, his own tiredness threatening to creep back in. Realizing that Jensen had no idea what to do next and how he was getting ready to lose his bet with Vicki, he sat up, forcing Jensen to move off of him. Misha maneuvered Jensen to the bed so that now he was hovering over him. He gently took the condoms and lube out of Jensen’s hand and put them to the side on the bed. 

   Supporting himself with his left arm, Misha leaned down, putting his mouth close to Jensen’s ear, and whispered in a deliberate way. “Do you want to fuck me, Jensen?”

   “Yeeeesssssss,” Jensen hissed through his clenched teeth.

   Misha ran his free hand down Jensen’s chest, easily pushing it between their bodies, lightly rubbing it over Jensen’s hard cock which was straining through the fabric of his pants. His erection was rocking up against the meager pressure Misha’s hand afforded.

   For all his bluster and sexual aggression earlier, Misha was pretty sure that Jensen was a natural bottom. He had seen Jensen with women and when it came to filming ‘sex’ scenes,’ Jensen invariably made Dean a bottom. Misha was pretty sure that Jensen was unaware of this; it just came naturally to him. 

   As a bottom, Jensen would probably obey his directions without question, but he knew he needed to be careful. There was no way this wasn’t Jensen's first time with a guy and he expected that Jensen would become skittish when the reality of what they were doing started to sink in.

   Considering what to do next, Misha moved over to tuck himself between Jensen’s arm and his body. He moved his hand up and unbuttoned the top of Jensen's tan pants. Working his way down, unfastening the rest of the buttons to the base of the fly, he pushed his hand in and grasped Jensen’s cock over his underwear. He started running his fingers over the hard-on, feeling the pre-cum collecting in the fabric at the tip.

   He was intently watching Jensen’s face for clues on how what he was doing was making Jensen feel, trying to discern if Jensen might be changing his mind now that they were doing some heavy petting. He was slightly startled when Jensen grabbed his hand with his own and ground it down on his cock, in a strained voice saying, “harder”. 

   Misha decided that this was the perfect opportunity to test his theory about Jensen being a bottom. He quickly moved his hand out of Jensen’s pants and with a stern voice said “No, Jensen. Put your hands above your head and don’t move them until I tell you to.” 

   It was a risk, he knew, but Misha had a gut feeling about this.

   Jensen sucked in his breath and immediately complied, whispering, “okay,” staring at Misha with wide startled eyes. Looking at him with awe.

   Misha could see that his eyes were watering again, tears threatening to collect at the corners. His arms were raised above his head, his fingers grasping each other, his Adam's apple bobbing. 

   Misha smirked with inner triumph. _I knew it!_ he thought to himself. he might make it out of this unscathed after all. Misha moved to position himself, straddling Jensen’s hips. He leaned down, running his hands up Jensen’s arms, kissing him deeply when their mouths came close. Pulling back just enough to whisper softly “That’s very good Jensen. I think you deserve a reward. What do you think?” 

   Jensen nodded his head vigorously, clearly unable to trust his voice. His mouth hung slightly open, wet and silent, his breath hitched in his throat. He swallowed thickly, clearing his throat he croaked out a strained, “Yes.”

   Leaning back down, moaning into Jensen’s mouth, Misha thrust his tongue into Jensen, grinding his erection down hard onto Jensen’s cock with a couple of hard, slow thrusts before taking in a stuttering breath. The entire time Jensen kept his arms above his head, twisting his fingers together. 

   Misha broke the kiss and slowly sat back on his heels smiling down at his friend. Moving off of Jensen and sitting over slightly to the side he said “Jensen, you can move your arms now.” 

   Jensen lowered his arms and sat up on the bed, looking at Misha with wide confused eyes. 

   Looking over at him, Misha said, “I think maybe we need to set up some ground rules. What do you think?”

   Jensen shrugged, “Um, okay...” 

   “Good, so here’s the thing,” Misha said matter-of-factly. “If at any time you feel like we need to stop, for any reason, you need to let me know, okay?”

   “Okay..?”

   “Do you trust me?” 

   Jensen blushed and smiled, casting his eyes downward, “Yes… Um, so, do we need a ‘safe word’?” 

   Misha laughed at how adorable Jensen was at that moment. “Well, I don’t think we’re going to be going that far tonight, but if you really want one, that certainly is on the table.”

   “Oh.” Jensen looked disappointed.

   Misha tried to hide a smile at that. He lowered his voice and said “Naughty Jensen, are you being greedy? Do you need to be punished?” 

   Jensen laughed and sobbed at the same time, “Fuck Misha.” Tears springing to his eyes in earnest.

   Misha saw the tear pearl out of the bottom of Jensen’s eye, sliding down his cheek, and realized that this was probably going to turn into a therapy session. Which truth be told was better than having Jensen seduce him. It meant he would actually have some control over this situation and the chances of this going bad later would be significantly reduced. If Jensen needed to, he could compartmentalize this as just another way his friend helped him cope. 

   Feeling slightly relieved, exhaustion threatened to overtake him again. As much as he’d like to draw this out, he knew he needed to get this show on the road before he passed out. He honestly wasn’t sure how Jensen was still functioning either. Misha could see Jensen’s red rimmed eyes and could tell the alcohol was taking it’s toll. Clearly, he was just as tired. 

   Misha silently stood up and turned his back to Jensen, needing to stall long enough to think about what exactly Jensen needed from him tonight, what he needed to do to make sure Jensen could process this afterward, after he had fully sobered up. Still shirtless Misha walked over to the fridge and got out a bottled water. Turning to look at Jensen, he opened the bottle.

   Just before he tilted it up to drink, he said, “Take off your shirt, pants, shoes and socks. Leave your underwear on.” 

   Misha watched Jensen clumsily scoot to the side of the bed, standing up, fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. Nearly falling over as he stooped down to rip his shoe laces open, quickly toeing off his shoes. Quietly swearing under his breath as he ripped his socks off, nearly falling over in the process. Shucking his pants down, kicking them off, he stood up, his shirt open, hanging loosely from his shoulders.

   Jensen felt suddenly nervous as he looked over and saw Misha silently watching him, drinking from his water bottle.

   “Lose the shirt too, Jensen. Now.”

  
| 

   Jensen hastily removed it, letting it fall to the floor, leaving him standing awkwardly in a pile of cloths in the fig leaf position, with just his underwear. He was suddenly feeling ridiculous, the bear peeking out from behind his hands.

   Affecting a severe facial expression, Misha crossed his arms in front of his chest and asked, “Are you having second thoughts, Jensen?”

   Panic swept over Jensen’s face as he quickly replied, “What? No.”  
  
---|---  
  
   “Then move your hands to your sides so I can see ‘Dimitri’.” Misha hid his smile as he drank the last of the water from the bottle. Watching Jensen, Misha realized that he had been thinking about Dean complying with his command and that was weird and _way_ too soon for ‘Destiel’ role play he was sure. He shook his head a little and discarded the empty bottle then he grabbed another one from the fridge opening it he let his eye sweep over Jensen’s underwear in an exaggerated way as he walked over.

   Jensen, who’s eyes were tired, but bright with anticipation, watched Misha approach. 

   Misha handed Jensen the bottle of water, instructing him to drink. He examined the abomination that was Jensen’s underwear, as Jensen drank all of the water down. Of course he loved them. They were weird and Misha loved all things weird. It was too soon to let Jensen know that he approved of them.

   “Jensen, you were very naughty today.” Misha began, “You almost shared a secret that would have gotten me into a lot of trouble.” Jensen started to protest, but Misha quickly said, “Shut up! I did not give you permission to speak.”

   Jensen clamped his mouth shut, grinding his teeth.

   Misha could see the anger in the other man’s eyes flare, a challenge starting to appear, but Jensen stayed silent. Misha thought to himself, _Okay... need to tread carefully here._ “But you asked me for permission first, and for that, you get a reward.”

    _Nice save, Collins,_ Jensen thought to himself, feeling his indignation drain quickly away. 

   This evening was not going anything like he planned but it had certainly become much more interesting than he had imagined. Not that he had really known what to expect, but being bossed by Misha hadn’t even entered into his realm of possibility and then on top of that he was fucking loving it, and well, _what the hell was up with that?_

   Misha, who was shirtless, but otherwise still clothed, was now kneeling in front of him, taking off his underwear. Misha’s face was just inches from his cock. Jensen felt his penis, which had become mostly flaccid, start to grow again as he felt the air around it stir, hot from Misha’s breath. 

   His underwear down now around his ankles and Misha’s mouth right next to his quickly hardening dick. Jensen’s breath hitched and Misha gently took his cock in his overly warm hands, guiding it into his mouth.

    _Oh, god_ , Jensen thought. _Misha is sucking me. His mouth was so hot! Fuck!_

   Jensen tried to stand as still as he could, but he felt his knees starting to tremble. He wanted nothing more than to grab Misha’s head and start fucking his mouth, but he knew somehow that would not be allowed and Misha would probably stop. He kept his hands fisted at his sides, gazing down at his friend who was humming around his cock, watching his cock slid in and out of those lips. _Christ!_

   A groan escaped out of Jensen and with no small amount of panic, he bit his lip hard, looking down to see what Misha would do, if Misha was going to tell him he had been bad for making that noise. But Misha continued to bob his head, sucking and licking his cock. 

   Jensen was aware that he was not surprised at how good Misha was at this. He could feel the coil of pleasure collecting and he knew he was close. He wanted to warn Misha, but he wasn’t allowed to talk. He started to gasp, groaning with pleasure trying to hold back and just as he was sure he was going to come, Misha popped his mouth off and said, “No, Jensen, you don’t get to come yet.”

   Jensen made a strangled sound, deflating as tears of frustration sprung to his eyes, but he didn’t protest. At that moment, he realized just how tired he was and thought there was a good chance he was going to collapse. 

   Misha stood up, giving him a stern look in the eye, and said, “Lay on the bed.”

   Jensen sat on the bed, staring up at Misha, and started to lay back, but his movement was interrupted when Misha said, “Lay on your front so I can see your ass.”

   Jensen swallowed hard and turned over to face away from Misha. His dick, still painfully hard, was trapped between him and the mattress and he was agonizingly aware that he was completely naked with his ass exposed to Misha. Not sure what Misha was going to do, he felt panic start to rise and wished that he has insisted on a safe word when he had the chance. Jensen felt the bed dip as Misha climbed up next to him.

   He put his mouth next to Jensen’s ear and in a sultry voice said, “You are allowed to talk now if you feel you need to.”

   And relief washed over Jensen. He asked, “What are you going to do?”

   Misha, still next to Jensen’s ear, whispered, “I’m going to spank you, Jensen.” He started running his hands over Jensen’s bottom. He could see the goosebumps rise up Jensen’s skin, a flush causing the freckles to become more visible.

   “You were very naughty today.” He continued, “You were practically doing a strip tease in front of our fans. That’s so unlike you. It makes me wonder what’s going on.”

   Jensen swallowed hard, his mouth going dry. Feeling more fucking tears forming, Jensen angrily thought, _What the hell was going on with me? Why am I being so fucking weepy?_ Feeling angry at himself, thinking this couldn’t be a turn on for Misha.

   “I’m sure now that all of our fans think we’re fucking.” Misha continued, “Telling me to pick a leg. You made me feel so uncomfortable. Is that how you wanted to make me feel? Uncomfortable?”

   Listening to Misha words, Jensen felt a title wave of guilt wash over him. _Why did I act that way?_ He couldn’t remember now.

   “I’m sorry, Misha...” Jensen whispered, feeling worthless.

   “So I’m thinking you deserve to be punished. How do you feel about that?” Misha asked

   “I... I don’t know... I guess...” 

   Misha interrupted him, “Does that mean you agree?”

   Jensen remained silent, but Misha thought he saw the other man’s imperceptible nod. “You didn’t answer the question. Do you agree, Jensen, that you should be punished?” Misha prodded.

   “Yes...” he whispered.

   “I’m going to spank you now because you were indecent and vulgar to our fans and you embarrassed me. If you feel like it’s getting to be too much or you need me to slow down say ‘yellow’ if you need me to stop say ‘red’. Do you understand?” Misha saw Jensen nod his head. Holding his hand flat, Misha hit Jensen on the fleshy part of his left cheek. 

   A crack sounded in the room at the impact. Jensen hissed with the pain, and the sensation went straight to his cock. Before he had time to recover, another crack and more stinging, this time his right cheek. He could feel his butt cheeks heating up from the insult. “Fuck Misha!” Jensen didn’t realize how painful this could be.

   Another three cracks quickly sounded out and now this shit was getting real. Jensen bit down on his lip, tears pouring down his cheeks in rivulets. He could take this. There was no way he was going to wuss out. He deserved this. He had been such a dick to Misha.

   Two more stinging slaps and his cock jumped each time. He was sobbing now and felt Misha rubbing his buttocks, rubbing the worst of the sting away. He felt Misha grasp his shoulder and he was turned over. He felt boneless and ragged. Suddenly, Misha’s hand was on his shaft stroking him. Misha was looking at him and he felt completely exposed on a level he had not experienced before, like Misha was looking into his soul. 

   Tears streaming down his face, he turned his face away from Misha, embarrassed, babbling apologies to the air. As Misha was jacking him off, he could feel the flesh on his ass stinging and the coil of orgasm was quickly forming a tight knot in his groin.

   “Come for me, baby,” Misha whispered.

   That was it. Before he realized what was happening, Jensen was spilling his seed with a groan.

   “Oh god! Misha!” Jensen’s head swam. He thought he might lose consciousness, Misha gently stroking him through the waves of pleasure. It was one of the most intense orgasms he had had in recent memory.

   Misha knew now was the time to install the post hypnotic suggestion he had in mind for Jensen and even though it had been many years since he had done that for someone, he felt like it would be just like riding a bike and hoped it would come back to him naturally. Jensen needed to believe that he was a worthwhile person and Misha was going to set that mantra up for him. 

   Grasping Jensen shoulders, Misha leaned down and kissed him hard on his mouth. Then he said, “You are a valuable, worthwhile person, Jensen.”

   “What? No, I’m not,” Jensen sobbed. Unable to make sense of what Misha was saying.

   Misha, hoping this ‘pattern interrupt’ would not be too much, slapped him hard, open handed, across his face. 

   Jensen looked up at Misha stunned, shocked, accusatory eyes. Rubbing his cheek, he said, “What the fuck, Misha?!”

   “Look at me and say, ‘I am a valuable, worthwhile person’.”

   “What? No.”

   “Say it!”

   “I… I am a valuable. worth. while. person..?”

   “Good. Now every time you hear the word “Jensen,” you will feel that you are a valuable, worthwhile person. Do you understand?”

   “I…”

   “Good. Now it’s time to stop talking. I’m exhausted and really need to close my eyes for a few minutes. I should probably go back to my room.”

   Panic squeezed Jensen’s heart. “No, stay, for just a little bit. Please.”

   Misha sighed, “Okay, but I really need some rest. I’m just gonna close my eyes for a minute then I’m going to go back my room.”

   “Okay.”

   Misha knew he’d rushed the last part, but he wasn’t going to make it much longer. He could feel his brain really starting to shut down and stop working. He had to close his eyes. He honestly did not think he could have made it to his room right then anyway. Thinking about putting his shirt back on, he moved to the other side of the bed, but before he was even aware of laying his head down, Misha was out. 

   Jensen lay there for a few minutes, stunned, wondering what had just happened. He felt completely disoriented. And naked. He looked down and yep he was completely naked and, well, Misha wasn’t. This didn’t go anything at all like he had planned. His face stung where Misha had hit him. _That was sobering._

   He got up and looked down at Misha who was now dead to the world and another wave of guilt washed over him. His head was starting to throb from a headache, his hang-over starting to register, when he realized that Misha had probably been exhausted the whole time and that just made him feel like a bigger asshole, didn’t it?

   Jensen noticed that Misha was shivering a little in his sleep. He silently padded to the closet and got the spare blanket out. Returning to the bed, he spread the blanket over Misha’s bare skin, noticing that his shoes were still on. Deciding Misha looked comfortable enough, he left them on. He leaned down and kissed Misha’s temple, closing his eyes, deeply inhaling Misha’s scent again. 

   He was pretty sure it wasn’t cologne. Misha just smelled like that and he would never get tired of smelling him.

    _And fuck, now I really am in love with this mother fucker._

   Silently, Jensen walked around to the other side of the bed and collected his clothes. Folding them, putting them neatly away. Picking up Misha’s shirt and jacket. Folding those putting them within Misha’s reach. Retrieving the unopened condoms and lube and putting them back in his suitcase. 

   He went in the bathroom and cleaned himself up, turning to examine the red marks on his ass. He was able to distinguish the pattern of Misha’s hand, the fingers standing out in bold relief. Looking in the mirror, he rubbed his cheek where Misha had hit him and noticed that he wasn’t crying anymore. _Well that’s something at least._

   He went and found a clean pair of loose boxers and put them on, sliding into bed under the sheets next to Misha. Jensen lay facing Misha, breathing in his scent, feeling his heat, listening to his tiny adorable snore, silently drifting off into a peaceful sleep.

   It was the calmest he’d felt all weekend.

********************************************************

   Misha felt like his head had barely hit the pillow when loud banging started to draw him back to consciousness. He struggled to stay asleep, squeezing his eyes shut. ‘Misha can sleep through anything.’ _I call bullshit on that_ , Misha thought blearily.

   Disoriented, he wasn’t sure where he was. He felt the bed next to him shift when someone moved and he froze. _Shit!_ Frantically thinking back to the previous night, the memories of Jensen came flooding back.

   A blanket had been laid over him, but he was pretty much still dressed. There hadn’t been any penetration. Thank god for small miracles. _Bill would be proud._ Misha thought ruefully. Maybe they could laugh this off as “boy will be boys” or what happens at Jibcon stays at Jibcon. The banging got more insistent and he could hear Jared on the other side of the door demanding that Jensen open up. _Crap._

    _Well it’s not like I’m going to try to hide_ , Misha thought with annoyance as he tried to shake the fog from his head.

   Aware that Jensen was making his way to the door, Misha cracked his eyes open wondering where his phone was. Sitting up slowly, looking around for his jacket, he saw that it and his shirt had been placed on the bed right next to him. Smiling to himself, _Jensen really could be a gentleman when he wanted to be._

   Slipping his t-shirt on, he began rummaging around in his jacket for his phone and looking at the time. He saw he had several missed messages. Dragging in a deep breath, tirely anxious about what kind of shit he might be in for from those messages. It was later than he had thought, trying to remember what time the shuttle was leaving. He didn’t have much time to pack. He had to get back to his room.

   Misha was aware that the boys were standing in the doorway, having a muted conversation, and he was about to do the walk of shame. Misha shrugged to himself, even though it had been a while, it wasn’t like he hadn't done that many times before in his life. At least he didn’t have to find his shoes. Grabbing his jacket, he got up, heading for the door.

   He rolled his eyes to himself when he noticed that Jensen was standing at the doorway in just his underwear. Willing himself to be invisible, he silently tried to slide past the boys unnoticed. Jared glanced at him, startled. Misha was heading out into the hallway without a word to him or Jensen when Jensen caught his arm and tugged him back.

   Pulling him close, he gave him a chaste kiss on the lips and saying “thanks”. 

   Misha quizzically looked at him and said, “you’re welcome, Jensen” and suddenly, inexplicably Jensen heard the words _'I am a valuable, worthwhile person,'_ float through his mind. 

   Jensen’s brow furrowed a little. _Weird, where did that come from?_

   Then he let Misha go and nonchalantly turned his attention back to Jared as if nothing had happened. Jared was standing there, gaping at them with a stunned expression, speechless.

   Relief washing through him, Misha walked down the hall with a small triumphant smile plastered on his face.


End file.
